Dating an introvert might seem challenging sometimes. Introverts tend to struggle when finding the right person. They are also genuinely interested in getting to know people, but they have a hard time doing it.
To have a successful relationship they will probably have to work much harder than extroverts.
Once you spend alone time with an introvert, you’ll see how open they can be. But how to get from small talk to a genuine connection?
Introvert dating problems aren’t easy-peasy and many introverts have unique habits that other people don’t understand.
Introverts date people with similar personality traits, but not all introverts of course. One personality trait will, however, always be preferable to the other.
In today’s article, we will talk about the challenges and rewards of dating introverts. We will see how is it like to have an introverted partner. Let’s learn what introverts prefer in relationships and how to make an authentic connection with an introverted partner.
Is It Hard To Date An Introvert?
I’m sure you’ll agree with me that even extroverts today have difficulties finding a partner.
We are looking for the same things, and we encounter the same difficulties in finding the perfect partner for us. Don’t spend time just focusing on the bad things, focus on working on those “bad things.”
Once you follow the body language, and subtle signs and find your right personality type, all difficulties won’t matter much. You’ll be ready to let go of yourself and to compromise and work on that relationship.
Are Introverts Good At Dating?
It might seem like you’ll have to put more energy into dating an introvert, but introverts make great partners.
When you do all the right things, your introverted partner will get in their comfort zone and they will be super comfortable around you.
It might get a little bit tricky about who’s making the first move, but that shouldn’t stop in the way of your true feelings for someone. What makes the most sense is that true match will find their way to stay together and make it happen.
Even if one person is an extrovert and the other an introvert. You might miss a social gathering or two, and avoid meetings with large groups, but others, more important things matter more.
When you let yourself go and when you get to know introverts better, you’ll discover their unique qualities and how good they are at dating.
What Does An Introvert Need In A Relationship?
Among the important reasons the world needs introverts one of the reasons is their reliable character.
This is a personality trait they seek in other people as well. It doesn’t matter if you’re just close friends or you’re dating an introverted man or woman, they’ll seek these traits.
Even when you’re having a heart-to-heart chat, you’ll be able to recognize their sensitive and more emotional side than extroverts.
Once introverts open, you’ll find out that they want someone reliable, respectful, and slightly similar to them.
They want communication open and on the table, they don’t prefer feeling drained and their love languages are truly unique.
They are good listeners and they will expect the same in return. They function better in smaller groups, so don’t expect them to follow you to the big parties.
Most social events and social situations make them slightly awkward, and they tend to be pretty anxious then.
But if you learn how to compromise all of these things, you have found a great match for yourself.
When you start paying attention to these things, it will be a really rewarding experience getting to know that person.
7 Challenges When Dating And Introverted Person
All these challenges extroverts face when dating introverts. How can we better understand the relationship needs of introverted people?
How can we make a compromise and enjoy the differences in our character? Let’s discover the answers to these questions below.
1. Introverts Will Feel Awkward Around Your Friends In The Early Stages
Don’t expect the idea of having dinner with your friends to please your introverted partner. While your sociable boyfriend or girlfriend would normally be looking forward to it, it will be much more difficult with introverts.
Of course, the problem is not your friends, but their difficulty meeting people. Introverted people are more prone to nervousness, difficulty meeting new people, more difficulty starting a conversation, etc.
They will probably feel pressure and think it causes an awkward situation and spoil your evening.
I am not exaggerating, people with social difficulties often think about this. If they openly admit to you that this is the case, let them feel your support.
Don’t make them take this big step for them right away. Let them meet one friend at a time. Eventually, there will be a group meeting and you will be able to relax.
2. It Wil Be Hard To Understand Their Social Setting
This is a continuation of the thing above, but also all the other social things that you are used to. Don’t expect your introverted partner to go with you to crowded clubs to dance and drink.
Most of the time they would rather stay at home with you or do things alone with you. Such places are mostly too difficult for them. Some introverts have panic attacks and often become very anxious in such environments.
I’m sure you don’t want to cause that to your partner. Parties, large crowds, and meetings are all things that are not ideal for introverts.
But after some time you will get used to it and it will be easy for you to harmonize your wishes, of course, if you work on it.
3. It Might Be Hard To Compromise
Your partner wants to stay in, you want to go to the party. They would rather hang out with 2 friends while you plan to invite 5.6 friends.
You would go to someone’s birthday, while your partner doesn’t want to meet 10 new people. If you think about it, you could do this with an extrovert. If the person had a busy day, this could be any person, not just an introvert.
Try to find a solution that suits both you and him. In a different way, in the long run, these relationships will not work.
4. You May Understand Conflict Differently
While extroverts will prefer to immediately talk about the solution and about the conflict, introverts will withdraw.
As a person who has a lot of introverted friends, we often come up with this topic. They say they would rather let them “cool off” before talking about the problem. That makes sense because people in anger know how to say things they don’t mean.
But constantly suppressing the problem with silence and distance will lead to an even bigger problem. Too many accumulated problems have to come to the surface sometime.
It is better if the problem is solved immediately by talking, maturely and calmly. But before you do that, give them some introvert time so they can relax and calm down.
5. You Will Have To Be More Opened About Your Needs
No person can read your mind. But in this case, it will be more difficult for introverts. You cannot expect them to know what you really want through your hidden messages, signals, and metaphors.
Your partner is not your mom who knows you to the core and who may be the only one who knows what is wrong when something is wrong.
If you want a healthy and mature relationship, you will have to communicate with your partner. Without any anger that he or she did not recognize the signals of something.
Don’t metaphorically suggest things, simply say what you would like or like until the person is following you.
The person they were with before you was different and they can’t learn about your unique needs overnight.
6. Introverts Show Affection Differently, Try To Understand It
When you’re out socializing, your introverted partner won’t be the one kissing and hugging you.
Of course, not all introverts are like that, but most are, especially in the beginning. Introverts show affection differently.
They will be much more relaxed when they are alone with you. Then you will discover their true romantic side. But don’t blame them when the moments in which you are surrounded by people.
They might touch your hand or caress your leg under the table, but they won’t do it as obviously as extroverts. But there is also a charm in such moments of tenderness and intimacy, right?
Until they get used to your friends, they will act a little withdrawn, especially when it comes to tenderness. In public, they will generally not be open and intimate like extroverts.
7. You Might Misunderstand Their Silence
Introverts will be quiet most of the time when together. Of course, when you’re having a conversation, you’re having a conversation. But They won’t force anything.
As the quote from our introvert quotes says, “A wise man once, said nothing.” They cherish and appreciate silence more than extroverts. Especially when in conflict.
They will back off and keep silent until they’re ready to talk more. This is just how introverts do it, don’t give the hard time because of this.
Their silence gives them balance and stimulation and energy for further communication and interactions.
7 Rewarding Experiences When Dating An Introvert
And what if we try to understand each other? Then we will have the opportunity to see the wonderful personality of that person.
What is hidden behind a person who is shy and silent? There are hidden rewards that only those who make an effort can discover. Let’s find out a little more about them.
1. Introverts Are Great Listeners
If you have an introverted friend, then you can already guess the truth of this. Introverts are great listeners.
Most people often listen only to answer as soon as possible and say what they think. But introverts are not like that.
They will truly listen to you heartily and attentively. When they listen, they are genuinely interested in your thoughts and words and give good feedback. Introverted people are often psychologists and psychotherapists precisely for these reasons.
There is no better listener than introverts, we guarantee that. And when you’re in a relationship, we all know how much we need someone to listen to us.
Having a shoulder to cry on and sincere support that listens to us sometimes means everything in the world. It is precisely in introverted partners that you will find the people you are looking for.
2. Introverts Have An Amazing Intellectual Side
I’m sure this doesn’t surprise you. Introverts often spend time alone and use that time productively.
During this productive time, most introverts will watch documentaries, read books, and educate themselves.
Introverts are proven to have a good vocabulary, they are eloquent and will surely know random facts that you have no idea about. Talking to introverts, once they finally open up, will be a real surprise.
He will know a lot more than your other friends and his intellectual side will be their good feature.
But such introverts are looking for a partner similar to themselves. Of course, if someone is ambitious and likes certain things, he will look for such a person as his partner.
But you should never let someone’s superiority stop you from getting to know them better and making the first move.
3. Once They Open Up You’ll See Their Adventurous Side
Surely at least once a person surprised you when they showed you their other side. This mostly works best with introverts. The once quiet aloof person has now opened up and wow, you have a lot to see.
They are adventurous and interesting, even more than some “adventurous” people you know. It’s all about lowering the boundaries and letting down the guard. Once introverts let their guard down and relax, they’ll be able to have fun in a variety of ways.
Travels, adventures, and many other things. What’s the matter then? Introverts will only want to do it with you and that may be the only difference.
While your extroverted friends will prefer to go on a group trip, introverts will prefer to do it alone with you. As long as you enjoy these activities together, it shouldn’t be a problem.
4. Introverts Seek Deep Connections Only
Introverts find it very difficult to relate to people and even have conversations. This is precisely why they will not seek shallow relationships with people. Don’t expect introverts to hurt you because they will rarely, very rarely do it on purpose.
Forget about one-night stands and similar things with this type of people. Introverts explore deeper relationships with the people they meet.
When introverts make friends, they usually stay friends with them for life. It’s the same with relationships.
They love their partners very much and sincerely, and it will be difficult to get over the person when he leaves them.
This later creates even bigger problems in finding the next love and relationship. Don’t be surprised when deep topics come up after a while on the first date.
You will already notice how open introverts are and how much they value sincere deep connections.
They care about their friends and family, and most of them have pets. All this speaks additionally about their character.
5. Introverts Are Highly Emphatic Partners
In addition to many virtues: such as thinking outside the box, good friends, and introverts also have these qualities.
Introverts are known as very empathic people. Introverts experience the world through their own intuition, and this is one of the reasons for their high level of empathy.
But what does it actually mean to be empathetic? Have you ever been talking to someone and it seemed like they were absorbing your emotions, whether they were happy or sad?
This is exactly what makes introverts empathetic. While some people are energy vampires, these people will drain your emotions with you.
If you were bad, the question will be all your bad emotions, whether you believe it or not. They will share happiness with you as if it were their own. Their adaptability to the moods of other people is at the same time a trait and a small one.
However, it is more often a flaw because some people use it, and introverts get hurt. However, this can become too much for them. If you constantly rely on their emptiness and shift your burden to them, that is not good.
They will need a short escape from reality and will withdraw into themselves more often. Balance your need to talk about difficult topics.
Don’t constantly put that burden on your partner. Or if you talk about it, don’t expect them to always have perfect solutions and answers for you.
6. Introverts Will Cherish Your Relationship
When you date an introvert, even after a few years you will feel the flame of love burning passionately. With them, you will always have a good feeling of intimacy, closeness, attention, and security.
Introverts are not cheaters, they won’t let you feel less loved. With small signs of attention, they will tell you that they love you every day.
Sometimes they will give you flowers, sometimes they will write sweet messages, sometimes they will make you happy with a gift for no reason, and the like.
Introverts are known as great romantics and relationships with introverts tend to last longer than those with extroverts.
Celebrating birthdays and anniversaries with introverts will be much more special. Introverts will do everything to make you feel like the most loved woman or man in the world.
7. Embrace And Acknowledge Your Differences
You and your partner will never be the same. Even soul mates have their differences. But real love and real relationships last when you work on them and when you embrace the diversity of those relationships.
Sometimes people meet and fall in love precisely because of that. Differences in a relationship can bring many advantages to that relationship.
Just because they won’t be out partying and clubbing together, shouldn’t mean that your relationship back home won’t be good.
Remember Aidan and Carrie from the famous series SATC. He was a quiet country boy, and then a city lady who loved noise. However, they found a middle ground and loved each other very much.
Final Thoughts
When you enjoy socializing and meeting new people, you don’t think much about the struggles of the people who find these simple things harder. Today we talked about that as well, covering the topic of dating an introvert in our article.
When you’re dating someone, if your partner understands you, that is all you need. When you discover the inner world of their personality, everything becomes easier.
Even though they prefer quieter activities, you’ll still have your own world, and spending time together will be a special time.
You’ll find your partner’s strengths in their personality. Introverts clingy side doesn’t exist and you’ll also feel freedom in a relationship. Most introverts need their own space and alone time, and they will give you the same.
But once you give them time to open up, you’ll discover a whole new world within them. So, why do introverts love being alone? Maybe they just didn’t find the right person to date yet.
